Marriage Meander

A Wedding is for a day - A Marriage is for a lifetime

Just take a minute to think about the time, effort and money that you are putting into planning your wedding. It is such an exciting time and once you have had your fairy tale wedding you will have perfect memories of a very special day.

But what then? Many couples will have had some spiritual counselling in preparation for the Marriage ceremony but what preparation have you done for your life together as a couple? You are no doubt an expert on all aspects of weddings, but what plan have you instituted for your Marriage?

Take a step back and think about your career. At the end of your schooling you would have identified an area that interested you and pursued a line of study in keeping with that area of interest. Whether you chose to attend a tertiary education institution or on the job training, you would have instituted a plan. Once you achieved your basic training and embarked on your career path you would continue to learn about your field. If you want to stay ahead of the pack you attend courses, read publications related to what you do and find a mentor from whom you can continue to learn. A concerted effort to gain knowledge is made in order to achieve career success.

Why is it then that we are ambitious about our careers, we are goal orientated and have a plan in place to achieve those goals, and yet when it comes to Marriage we take for granted that love will be enough to see us through? How many of us actually set goals for our Marriage and have a plan to achieve Marriage goals? This may seem quite calculating - what about spontaneity, passion and romance? The bottom line is that if you do not invest time and effort into your Marriage, too much will be taken for granted and one day you may just wake up and wonder who the person next to you is!

Just as we schedule our working hours, Marriage hours need to be scheduled too. Once we have Marriage hours scheduled the spontaneity can take over! After all it doesn’t matter how carefully you schedule your working day – it never turns out as planned, challenges arise and reshuffling needs to be done. The time you spend with your spouse will also never be the same, different moods will guide you as how best to spend the time together.

Keep a journal with your goals and read them often. As the dynamics of your life changes so will your goals. Make sure you keep your basic goals in place always. Never stop communicating, never stop making time for one another and never stop remembering the reasons why you got married in the first place!

There are fabulous courses that you can go on to enhance your Marriage and really good books that you can read. In your goal setting, set yourself a goal to attend courses, read books and to do something (no matter how small) positive for your spouse and for your Marriage everyday.

Don’t wait for things to go wrong, do whatever you can to stay on the road to a long and happy Marriage. If you do veer off the road, take up the challenge, don’t give up and make an investment into your Marriage and yourself by making things right!

From personal experience there is nothing more important to me than my Marriage. Problems within a Marriage impact on all aspects of life – career, children, family, friends and yourself. The investment that I have made into my Marriage has been really worth it and I encourage you to do the same.

All photographs courtesy of Whitecliffs (011) 886 4326 or info@whitecliffs.co.za.

For more information on courses, you are welcome to contact me – karen@marriagemeander.co.za. Recommended reading: The Five Love Languages – Dr Gary Chapman.